Be Specific

Reverb10 Prompt– Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

When I was 10 years old I just knew that I was going to be a super-successful businesswoman and mom.  I was going to balance it all — I could feel it.  Somewhere between college and my career taking off I got married, had kids and fell in love with being a mom.  I’ve always worked and I’ve always had this unexplainable drive….but at the end of the day I didn’t want to do anything that took away from being a mom and I was miserable when it did.

Some of the biggest arguments I’ve had with my husband in the last several years involved him not working which meant that I had to work harder and didn’t get to have the quality time I wanted with  my kids.  For a very long time I’ve been saying to him, “All I want is to be a mom.”  Then this summer I took what was supposed to be a part-time job working outside of my own business.  The gentleman who hired me to be his assistant soon realized that having someone to run his errands, do small chores and prepare meals was more important to him than having an assistant, and I felt like I was taking care of one more person.  In the midst of my personal angst over this I realized that my words had come true.  I was being his mom.  Then I realized that over the last several years my husband has fallen into a more child-like role while I play more of a “keeping up after you like your mom” role.  There was the friendship that ended because my “friend” really wanted someone to take care of her, work out her problems and be at her beck and call and I have a family.  There was even a business venture in my recent past and though I LOVED it and my partners, part of what made me valuable was that I am a mom (though that is not why I was a part of the company, nor did my partners want/need to be mothered).

So I learned two valuable things about myself: 1) I need to be much more careful about the words I use.  I want to be a great mom to my own children.  I never intended to be a mom to everyone I encountered, but I really wasn’t specific enough.  2) I want to be that super-successful woman.

As I head in to 2011 clear-headed and clear stating, I look forward to bringing into my life that career that will allow me to play big; and when I come home, I look forward to being the best mom to my children that I can be.

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About Teri Johnson

I have been a life coach and meditation teacher since 1999. More importantly, for me, I have had the pleasure of being a mom for 20 years. But what really defines me is my passion for living an authentic life. I have a friend who calls me "Buddhist with and edge." I'm not a practicing Buddhist, but it sums up my approach to life quite nicely. Thank you for stopping by and ENJOY!
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3 Responses to Be Specific

  1. Karen Mead says:

    Beautiful realizations!

  2. Katy says:

    Teri, this is great that you realized this! Did you come to this realization before the prompt? Just curious.

    I can totally relate about the need to be more specific. This year I was really focused on wanting to be able to “provide for” my husband. Little did I know, this would turn out to mean getting a J.O.B. So not what I was thinking – LOL. Needless to say…I’m rewording things nowadays 😉

  3. Katy,

    Words are so powerful aren’t they? I should have paid more attention when I was younger and the adults around me would tell me to say nothing rather than say something negative.

    Yes, I came to this realization as I was leaving that “part-time” job. The realization that I had become everyone’s mom really helped me leave that situation with grace because I could take ownership of my part in it. I will forever be grateful for that awareness.

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