Reverb10 Prompt– Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)
When I was 10 years old I just knew that I was going to be a super-successful businesswoman and mom. I was going to balance it all — I could feel it. Somewhere between college and my career taking off I got married, had kids and fell in love with being a mom. I’ve always worked and I’ve always had this unexplainable drive….but at the end of the day I didn’t want to do anything that took away from being a mom and I was miserable when it did.
Some of the biggest arguments I’ve had with my husband in the last several years involved him not working which meant that I had to work harder and didn’t get to have the quality time I wanted with my kids. For a very long time I’ve been saying to him, “All I want is to be a mom.” Then this summer I took what was supposed to be a part-time job working outside of my own business. The gentleman who hired me to be his assistant soon realized that having someone to run his errands, do small chores and prepare meals was more important to him than having an assistant, and I felt like I was taking care of one more person. In the midst of my personal angst over this I realized that my words had come true. I was being his mom. Then I realized that over the last several years my husband has fallen into a more child-like role while I play more of a “keeping up after you like your mom” role. There was the friendship that ended because my “friend” really wanted someone to take care of her, work out her problems and be at her beck and call and I have a family. There was even a business venture in my recent past and though I LOVED it and my partners, part of what made me valuable was that I am a mom (though that is not why I was a part of the company, nor did my partners want/need to be mothered).
So I learned two valuable things about myself: 1) I need to be much more careful about the words I use. I want to be a great mom to my own children. I never intended to be a mom to everyone I encountered, but I really wasn’t specific enough. 2) I want to be that super-successful woman.
As I head in to 2011 clear-headed and clear stating, I look forward to bringing into my life that career that will allow me to play big; and when I come home, I look forward to being the best mom to my children that I can be.