Have you ever read a book or seen a movie that just stuck with you through all time? This happens so rarely for me that when it does it’s as if my cells have come alive with new vibrancy.
Recently I was given the book, The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews. Thinking it would just be a fun, light-hearted quick read I jumped into it over the holiday break. It was one of those books and though many passages are earmarked, this one stands out:
“. .. ‘Most people fail at whatever they attempt because of an undecided heart. Should I? Should I not? Go forward? Go back? Success requires the emotional balance of a committed heart. When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart will search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.”
As a life coach I’ve seen this over and over with my clients. But the last several months have shown me how much I do this on my own. (It is not then a coincidence that some of my clients were mirroring for me my own wavering heart.) How many times have you thought to yourself something like: “I LOVE that purse!” then “It’s too expensive!” then, “Oh my, I keep coming back to it, there’s something about it that’s so me,” then “But I just can’t justify it.”
You know how the story goes. We can justify whichever thought comes in at the moment but are not really committed in our heart to either end.
In the spirit of the New Year, a time when most of us tend to reset everything, touch our goals, our dreams our most inspired story, the energy of forward movement is powerful. By February many people are starting to lose connection to the positive momentum, and usually by March people are wondering what happened to their grand and glorious plans for the new year.
Here’s what I know, and this passage from the book highlights so well: Most of us are only partially committed in our heart to the goals, aspirations and dreams we want. We reserve a little piece of doubt for that area of our mind and culture that says, “Maybe that’s not the best choice/right choice/most enlightened choice, I can make.” It is in that uncommitted heart that doubt takes hold and in most cases the doubt is much stronger than the inspiration. The doubt points out what we have to lose, what isn’t safe and what could go wrong. In our human effort to stay safe and protected we move towards lack and look for evidence that we will fail, or at the very least not be terribly successful. This is counter productive, but also our most basic human nature.
The last few months I have had my own experience with this. I express how I want to move forward in my life then don’t. There is a job I REALLY want, and I KNOW I would be good at it and do good things for the company. But until January I found myself stuck — stuck because there was a piece of me that was afraid of failure, afraid of being rejected, afraid that I wasn’t good enough. My heart was only partially committed. If you heard me speak, you would not have thought that there was a doubt anywhere, but in my heart there was. In a way, I was looking for an opportunity to escape success. Not consciously, but subconsciously I was sabotaging myself.
How does one stay committed? Faith, Trust, Self-Compassion….a great positive support group….But most of all, it’s trusting your heart! Trusting that you already know what you want and how to get there. Knowing that there is no wrong answer and that you can change your mind over and over. Faith that there is Universal support and wisdom and guidance. This is why vision boards, journals and mantras are so powerful; they give us something tangible that inspires us to FEEL the energy of what we want, they give us an opportunity to connect back in our heart with the feelings that surround our goals, dreams and aspirations.
Are you willing to really look at what might be holding you back? Are you ready to acknowledge that the things you most want but can’t seem to get are not out of your reach but out of your heart?