I consider myself very fortunate to have incarnated with two sisters who aren’t afraid to let me know when my fears are running amok! Over the past six months or so I have found that many friends, clients and even myself have been perseverating over decisions because there is an impending sense of….but this decision is long-term, permanent or “forever.” Fortunately, my sisters will point this line of thinking out for me if I begin to get swept up in the false-logic of what cannot possibly be true!
The very nature of the Universe is impermance…everything is changing, every second of every day. You may not notice the change until the cumulative tide washes over you, but it’s happening. Why then, do we as humans fret over the decisions we make as if we are stuck with them? Logic and the collective conscience. Those two forces frequently override the heart and what we know is true for us at any given moment.
Let me sharpen the focus on this with a personal story. When we recently moved to Northern Virginia, where I know my heart yearned to be, things did not fall into place as I thought I had created. One of the first dilemmas I faced was knowing in my heart that I needed to go back to work outside of the home for the first time in over a decade to help recoup some of the foundation that had been lost during my husbands 7 years of joblessness. I know it was right, but I still needed to do some soul-searching within myself. I also knew that whatever job I found would help me get to the next place on my journey. But when two job opportunities came in at the same time I fretted and gnashed my teeth trying to decide which was better as neither felt perfect. What helped me move forward? I had to let go of all of the collective consciousness statements like:
“You’re lucky if you can get a job in this recession.”
“You need to stay in a job for years or you won’t be taken seriously on your resume.”
“Better to go with the sure thing than wait around and hope for something else.”
“It’s slim pickings in the job market, beggars can’t be choosers.”
What I needed when I took the job I have now was an emotional financial security that had been missing for a while — that’s all. And I gained that by taking the job I did. Even now, knowing that there are many days when I don’t enjoy the job I took I have simply remind myself that it’s not forever, so stay until it doesn’t feel right to stay any longer (notice I didn’t say, “Stay until it doesn’t make sense to stay.”) And I am using what is, in order to help me figure out what feels like the next best step.
Tips for maneuvering through “Forever” Thinking:
1. Look at the situation in front of you objectively and feel if it’s what you need right now. Don’t try to figure out why, though you may intuitively know why, and don’t try to make sense of it. Just feel the situation/decision and feel yourself in it.
2. Repeat, “Everything is temporary and I am only focusing on what I need right now,” as many times as you need to in order to feel the energy of the statement.
3. Remember that nothing is permanent and EVERY choice can be made again and again — You are a powerful creator.
4. Talk with a friend or relative who is not afraid to lovingly remind you that it’s all temporary, and who will also lovingly point out when you are making a decision from the fear of not having something in the future vs. choosing what you need right now.